The "They Should've Never Gave You N*ggas Money" Disease

There is an epidemic spreading across the land. From the east to the west, people are falling victim to this disease. It’s not contagious, but it is lethal. The disease that I am speaking of is the “They should’ve never gave you n*gga’s money”(TSNGYNM) Disease. Do not mistake this disease for the “Smelling yourself” Syndrome, because the two are alike in many ways. In 2008, there were many outbreaks of this illness. Left and right, our heroes were put to shame, embarrassing themselves and making their fans ashamed to support them. Before I go further, a disclaimer…..I know that these people are only human and as humans we make mistakes, however, since they are in the public eye, I will talk about them publicly. Maybe if they didn’t suffer from this illness, they might not have the issues that they do. Now, back to business…..

“They Should’ve Never Gave You N*gga’s Money” Symptoms include:
- An oversized Ego and/or speaking of yourself in the 3rd person
- Giving yourself a nickname
- Your first purchase is a chain
- Feeling you are above the law
- Detachment from reality
- Known by first name at the Strip Clubs
- Smelling yourself
- Addiction(optional)
- Own an illegal firearm
- Having the world in your hands and pissing it off because you feel superior
- Most important…Having money( or the appearance of)

The Victims
Flavor Flav- The most famous hype man of the greatest politically and socially conscience rap group ever, Public Enemy, our boy Flav has had a history of showing his ass. From being arrested on weed charges to reviving the Steppin Fetchit character on TV, our boy is a clear example of why they should’ve never gave him money.

Gary Coleman- Gary Coleman, Gary Coleman, Gary Coleman. Where do I begin? Saying he has a Napoleon Complex is an understatement. I don’t know if a decade has gone by without hearing about Gary Coleman attacking a fan of his, one of a few he has left. He is the poster child of drama and seems quite content in that role. Most recently he just ended up on Divorce Court with the woman he had been married to for a few months. Our boy went from an 80’s icon to a security guard to a reality star to advertising payday advance companies and now pleaded no contest to a disorderly conduct charge. Diagnosis….Positive

Sean Kingston- New to the scene which shows how fast the disease spreads. After have a few hit singles Sean Kingston fell victim. First he went on few radio shows and said he had won the role of the Biggie in the upcoming Notorious film. LIE! Next sends his $500,000 chain (symptom) by Fed-ex to his sister with only $500 insurance and it came up missing. Its not that he just suffers from stupidity, it’s just that TSNGYNM.

Plaxico Burress- The whole incident sounds like a sketch from a comedy show. You hear that the brotha went into the club in sweatpants, had an illegal gun tucked in his pants and accidently shot himself?? Naw…he can’t be that stupid. Now because of this incident, he is looking at 3 yrs in jail, lost his signing bonus and may have jeopardized his NFL career. Prime example of how the disease will clout your sense of judgment.


Repeat Offenders
Michael Vick- Where do I begin…Ron Mexico and Herpes?? The water bottle with the hollow insides full of weed at the airport or the multimillion dollar contract he pissed off because of illegal dog fighting. Mike Vick is a sad example because he has so much potential as a professional athlete. He constantly made stupid mistakes it seems he felt that because of his stature and wealth, he could get away with anything. And time after time he kept getting caught. You want to blame it on stupidity. I blame it on the money and that they should’ve never gave that N*gga Money.

Honorable Mention: Marcus Vick (Michael’s Younger Brother) for ruining his chances of going pro by suspensions and drunk driving. He suffers from Second-hand TSNGYNM.

Michael Jackson- I think Chris Rock said it best…. “Another Kid?? Another Kid??” And that is just the beginning. We have all had the chance of watching Michael grow and change in front of our eyes. We saw this talented little black boy become a confused white woman. Michael Jackson is a testament of how fame and money can corrupt your soul and alter your essence. I wonder what Michael Jackson the 1st grade teacher, ok maybe not a teacher, but Michael Jackson, the used car salesman or business executive would be like? But what do I know, he may be very happy. What I do know is They should’ve never gave that n*gga money.

Now…My Personal Favorite……

Orenthal James Simpson- Doesn’t O.J. feel like apart of the family now. Like that uncle you always have to give a disclaimer about before you introduce him to people?? Our boy, YES OUR BOY, O.J. got acquitted of murder…of two white people no less…IN CALIFORNIA. Now whether you believe he did it or not is up to you to decide. All I know was that he proved that with the right amount of money, you can accomplish the unbelievable. This should be the beginning and end of this chapter. Money worked on his side. However….The media, Goldman’s, and Law Enforcement kept after P.J. trying to find anything to pin him on. You would think he wouldn’t slip up knowing this. But after his trial, a symptom hit….smelling himself. OJ got greedy, thought he could get away with being normal. It’s sad that he got arrested trying to reclaim his property that would have ended up going to the Goldman’s anyhow, but the manner he did it in. See, OJ was still spoiled by the invincibly that money gave him and that led to his demise. He will now spend almost the rest of his life behind bars because of his stupidity.


Honorable Mention:
Sean Combs- For killing Hip Hop
Terrell Owens- For Continuous Bitching
Kanye West- He is not a victim yet but has potential written all over him. Give him a few years.
The Cincinnati Bengals- Nuff Said
Katt Williams- Pressure bust pipes
Lionel Richie- Nicole Richie…nuff said

I write this not just in jest, but as a record of how fame and power and money can corrupt your sense of good judgment. Many of us would leap at the chance of having a piece of the success that these individuals have had. So it is disconcerting when you hear about someone blowing such an opportunity. The situations that these individuals have faced are not isolated, but the magnitude of what they have or face to lose is. No, money should not be sustenance to life, but unfortunately in today’s world it is. TSNGYNM is real. And in a way we are all to blame. We build celebrity up and make them into false idols. We adorn them with riches and give them exclusivity to everything. We allow them to believe they are better than us because in some ways we feel they are. So when you are constantly given the world and idolized, it in only natural to actually believe you deserve it. It always amazes me though that these celebrities forget that they were once normal people too. These will not be the last cases, TSNGYNM will continue to spread. This is just a PSA warning you of the epidemic. My recommendation is to prescribe a dose of “WAKE UP” and tell them to call me in the morning.