Child Abuse vs. Department of Children and Family Services
In June of 2008, my heart was pulled by a story of a 5 year old black boy who was viciously abused by his mother(http://articles.latimes.com/2008/jun/15/local/me-abuse15). This innocent little boy was severely malnourished, forced to sit in his urine and feces for days, burned on his hands, chest and genitals, tied around doorknobs and whipped. This happened for over a year. What could this little boy have done? What sparked such an evil side of his mother and her two friends accused of abusing him to do this. And most importantly, how come no one stepped in. There are so many things wrong with this situation. One of the most important is that it is not an isolated situation. All across America, maybe even in your family, there is a child being abused, but the abuse goes unreported. In the case of this 5 year old, friends and family of his mom knew of the abuse, some of them witnessed it, however they did not call the authorities. The reason is because of the assumption that the boy would be worse off being “in the system”. I am guilty of this thinking as well. For years you would hear about abuse and the de-humanizing experiences children faced in orphanages and group homes. It is the assumption, particularly in black communities, that being taken from your parents and entering a group home is the first stage of the “system cycle” which includes welfare and jail. I would also think of which situation I viewed as the lesser of two evils and figure that being with your parents would be the best option. I thought that by reporting child abuse, I would have to be questioned and go to court and become directly involved in something that might jeopardize my family or me and our lives and I could be completely wrong about the situation and had ruin someone else’s life. Unfortunately I have little faith in my government in helping the disadvantaged, particularly for people of color, which feeds into my neglect of doing anything about a situation I find harmful for a child. Just recently I saw a baby boy, maybe around 1 or 2 years old in a stair case with who I assume to be his mom and dad. His parents looked like drug addicts, the boy was filthy, snot nosed, and wailing. His mother made no attempt to comfort him and was holding him in such an awkward position that it looked like that could be one of the many reasons for his tears. I wanted to save him. I wanted to run over and tell her what she was doing wrong. I wanted to call the Department of Social Services and report what I assumed to be child neglect. But I didn’t, and it obviously is something I still think about. I think about his home situation. Did he eat today? Does he have clean diapers? Is he OK?? I didn’t call though because I didn’t know for sure what his situation was and didn’t want to stir the pot if it wasn’t necessary. But as I haunted my mind, and my thought referred back to the 5 year old boy I made a pledge to myself to make a call if I felt it was necessary. I will stay anonymous but I feel a tip wouldn’t hurt. Will I live up to this pledge??? Who knows. I hope I won’t have to be in that situation. What would you do?? Would you call or do you turn your head? What is your logic behind it?? Do you think the system will ever represent itself in a way where you would feel comfortable putting an abused child in it? Which is the lesser of two evils?? What if it was you? Just some food for thought.
"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for (good) people to do nothing."
-- Edmund Burke
Did you know??? 4 children die every day as a result of child abuse. 3 out of 4 of these victims are under the age of 4.
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2 comments:
I work for DCFS and it's a reactionary system. We need people in the community to look out for one another. You don't have to report neglect but you can check in on your neighbors and make sure everything is okay. Times are rough; babysitting and food are in desperate need. You don't want a family to enter the system, if they're not a voluntary case then they only get 12 months to get it together and we're looking for adoptive parents at the same time.
Black children are already overrepresented and reported to DCFS and black male children are the hardest to find adoptive homes for. It takes a village people....do you part for your community!
never having been in the system i cannot speak of things that happen in group homes or orphanages. never having been in a physically abusive home, i am again, not in the position to assert any hard cold facts of physical child abuse. however, being a mother of a nearly two-year-old, ridiculously active, inquisitive and hard-headed black boy...RAT ME OUT.
if it became obvious to a reasonably educated, non-biased someone that i lacked the ability to properly care for my child, challenge me. if i'm seen fit, no harm no foul (i'm sure this is easier said than done) - heartache can heal and the only judge i am interested in pleasing is God so sneers and whispers won't bother me. if i am not fit, i would want my son to be in the best possible position to lead a healthy lifestyle.
the question you have posed, which is the lesser of the two evils remains unanswered.
i have been told it is easier to suffer abuse from the hands of a stranger than a relative; and while it does take a village, if the abuse has permeated not only into the abuser but the village itsself, how long until it manifests in the child and creates yet another cycle?
on the other hand, for a child to walk out of a mentally and/or physically abusive home into a system where they believe they will be met with comfort and love, further abuse could far worsen their situation.
as i said, i can't make any assertions either way. but i do know that prevention is better than treatment. so as j said, "do your part for your community," maybe we can help some parents, who often, need more help than the children they are abusing.
***CLEARLY I HAVE LOTS OF TIME ON MY HANDS, THIS WAS MUCH LONGER THAN I ANTICIPATED. MY APOLOGIES***
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